It's no secret that having kids is hard work, exhausting, exhilarating, trying, and yet the most rewarding thing. Most moms will tell you so but not in great detail. Most moms won't tell you about their most difficult moments everrr. But this mom will.
Most Mondays I wake up with a determination to stay ahead of the monster. The monster I like to call Mr Mess. That whirlwind of dirty dishes, over flowing laundry hampers, half clothed kids, and dinners that are slapped together between a bun. Usually I feel like Mr Mess is as close as my shadow, ready to snatch me up and swallow me hole. And even if I manage to stay only one step ahead the entire week I feel like I have conquered the world. I feel exhausted but extremely pleased with myself. I feel like I could shout from the rooftops with joy and laughter. However, on those weeks that things don't go as planned, like I cram one two many things into my week, or something unpredictable happens like a child gets sick, then suddenly I am swallowed whole and I find myself surrounded by disorganization and chaos. Usually when this happens I just pick myself up, dust myself off and try again next week. I mean, after all, the most important thing is my kids are happy, healthy and loved. And I really do believe I am the luckiest woman to have three beautiful children and a hard working husband. We have a roof over our heads... a small roof, but a roof none the less. We have our dreams we are working towards and wonderful friends to share life with. So on the grand scheme of things a messy, disorganized house is really not all that important. simple right? .....
Except sometimes its not that simple. Sometimes it's just really hard. When you have been potty training for a year and a half and you wish just one of the million things you have tried would just work already. Or when you know your big break is about to come but two months seems to drag on forever. Or when the organizing just never seems to end. When in 20 years you know your house will be so quite and you will miss your children but right now you just want 5 minutes of silence. Sometimes you can't just dust yourself off. Sometimes you just have to cry. And you cry to the only person who can hear your sobs at 11:43 at night. You ask Him to please change it all and make it easier but deep down you know He is using it to make you strong. Sometimes you just have to tell Him every last feeling you have because you are so tired of holding it all in. And after your pillow has soaked up all your sorrows and He has dried that last tear from your cheek you drift off to sleep and wake up ready to do it all again. Why? Because of love. Because He loves you and only has good things for you. Because you love your children and they are worth the fight. Because you and your husband love each other and you need each other to make this work. Because HE IS LOVE and He is enough to carry you through.
Getting past your insecurities
I was just shopping with a dear friend of mine who is getting married soon. We had some amazing talks about marriage, fashion and the "tough stuff" in life we all have to deal with. One of the many things we talked about was being insecure and how it can change how we act and even how we dress. She told me about these awesome light blue combat boots she fell in love with but didn't buy because she worried she would never actually get the courage to wear them for fear that they were too "out there" and they would get tossed next to the many other items purchased but hardly worn. I just realized that I had done that very thing in another store. Plus I can't count the number of times I have talked myself out of buying something because of this stupid thing called insecurity. I had JUST seen a shirt I looooved and the minute I held it up to see how it fit me I instantly starting doubting. Could I pull this off? Is it too young looking for me? Is it too out there? How silly! Yet I'm sure so many of you have done it too. It was then that I had a revelation. I told my friend that she needed to go find those boots (or something else she liked but feared she couldn't pull off). Buy them. And force herself to wear it as a declaration that she was no longer going to be controlled or changed by her insecurities.
And if your wondering if I went back to buy that shirt, I didn't. But not because I was too scared to, but because my hubby and I are on a spending freeze (We do this now and again if we really want to save quickly or just as a way to keep ourselves in check. I think it's healthy to not always get what you want right away). But I did find a photo to share with you! And you better believe when our spending freeze is over I will be going to get it!! And by then I am hoping it will be on sale as my little reward for delaying gratification!!
So what insecurities do you struggle with? I challenge you to step out in a tangible way and tell that insecurity where it can go!!
As a side note: I had my husband proof read this post before I publish it because I don't always pick up on my spelling mistakes. He sent me a text with a few corrections and this FYI at the end....
"Go buy that shirt now! It is hammer nice and fits your personality bang on!!!"
Haha! I absolutely love him!
Finding the real me
I have been on this incredible journey and I am really loving this stage in my life. I just had my last and final baby 9 months ago. My hubby and I decided we wanted three kids and we wanted them close in age so they could be at similar stages as they grow up. Aside from one miscarriage we got just what we asked for and, although some days are hard, I don't regret it for one second. I have known too many people that have lost or never had their dream of the perfect family and I feel one way to pay my respects is to not take for granted what I have been given.
Part of the fun I am having these days is finding my own style of clothing. I know it sounds strange for a 30-some year old to still be finding herself but there is a reason. Growing up I was a bit more of a tom-boy. The style when I was in high school was baggy pants and baggy shirts... in other words, there was NO style! By the time I was 20 I got into the hair biz and I was pretty much thrown into the fashion industry without a paddle. For some reason I was good at hair fashion but no good at the rest. I actually asked my coworker what a stiletto was....... ya, it was that bad! And even though I spent 10 years working at a very prestige salon in downtown Calgary I still didn't really find a style that was.... well, me. Part of that was due to the fact that I didn't really explore with different styles as much as I wanted to. I was dating a guy who was not real supportive and to avoid ridicule I played it safe with my wardrobe. Not to say that it was all his fault. It was partly my own for not standing my ground and loving myself enough to wear what made ME feel beautiful.
So, fast forward a few years and now I am married to the most wonderful man who loves me no matter what size I am or what I have on. However, now my excuse for a lack of style is the fact that I have been pregnant three times since our wedding 5 years ago. I have been all sizes in all seasons and that can get a bit costly so I wasn't real choosy.
But now!!!! I am all done. I have been exercising to loose those extra pounds. And it feels so good knowing I am going to stay this way. And that what ever I buy is going to still fit me in 9 months from now! So I am on a hunt. A hunt to find my true style. I plan to take risks and wear something crazy as long as I feel great in it!
My first buy from my favorite store Guess. Their clothing is like rocker meets chic which I LOVE.
This is not just a mission to revamp my wardrobe but it also signifies the revamping I have been doing in my mental and spiritually life over the past 5 years. I have been shedding off a lot of my insecurities and learning to love myself and except that I am 100% loved by my Creator!!
So the moral of this post is be bold. Be beautiful. And love who God made you to be because he dose not make mistakes.
My beautiful kids!
Part of the fun I am having these days is finding my own style of clothing. I know it sounds strange for a 30-some year old to still be finding herself but there is a reason. Growing up I was a bit more of a tom-boy. The style when I was in high school was baggy pants and baggy shirts... in other words, there was NO style! By the time I was 20 I got into the hair biz and I was pretty much thrown into the fashion industry without a paddle. For some reason I was good at hair fashion but no good at the rest. I actually asked my coworker what a stiletto was....... ya, it was that bad! And even though I spent 10 years working at a very prestige salon in downtown Calgary I still didn't really find a style that was.... well, me. Part of that was due to the fact that I didn't really explore with different styles as much as I wanted to. I was dating a guy who was not real supportive and to avoid ridicule I played it safe with my wardrobe. Not to say that it was all his fault. It was partly my own for not standing my ground and loving myself enough to wear what made ME feel beautiful.
So, fast forward a few years and now I am married to the most wonderful man who loves me no matter what size I am or what I have on. However, now my excuse for a lack of style is the fact that I have been pregnant three times since our wedding 5 years ago. I have been all sizes in all seasons and that can get a bit costly so I wasn't real choosy.
But now!!!! I am all done. I have been exercising to loose those extra pounds. And it feels so good knowing I am going to stay this way. And that what ever I buy is going to still fit me in 9 months from now! So I am on a hunt. A hunt to find my true style. I plan to take risks and wear something crazy as long as I feel great in it!
My first buy from my favorite store Guess. Their clothing is like rocker meets chic which I LOVE.
This is not just a mission to revamp my wardrobe but it also signifies the revamping I have been doing in my mental and spiritually life over the past 5 years. I have been shedding off a lot of my insecurities and learning to love myself and except that I am 100% loved by my Creator!!
So the moral of this post is be bold. Be beautiful. And love who God made you to be because he dose not make mistakes.
My beautiful kids!
The perfect (tissue paper) pompoms.
I was recently making tissue pompoms, as I have done numerous times in the past for various occasions, and I was once again stumped with the same problem I always seem to have. Although these pompoms look GREAT when on display or hanging from the ceiling, I continue to struggle with this big gaping hole on one side of the pompom. I have added more tissue, pulled, fluffed and scrunched but nothing could satisfy my perfectionist eye.
As I stared at this slight annoyance I suddenly came up with a solution..... and to my delight, it was a success!! And now I am going to share with you :) hope you like!!
Step #1 Take 8 - 12 sheets of tissue and pile them evenly
Step #2 Starting at one end fold the pile of tissue together in an accordion fashion.
(To do this start with a 3/4 inch fold away from you. Keep your fingers on the fold and flip the pile onto the other side. Then fold towards you. Repeat until you are at the end).
Step #3 Secure the middle of your folded tissue with a twist tie. Then cut the ends so they are rounded. This will give a nice finished look.
Step #4 Gently separate each tissue sheet from the others. (Hint: It helps to pull at the tissue closer to the middle. For some reason the tissue is stronger there and is less likely to rip.)
(Another hint: separate the tissue as close to the middle as you can. This will help our pompom to be full looking!)
If you have 10 sheets then separate 5 sheets on both sides of the twist tie. Then flip over and separate the remaining 5 on the bottom half.
Ok, now this is where my tutorial differs from so many others out there. Repeat steps #1 through #4 so that you have two identical half made pompoms. Lay them out (like shown above) and then join the two flat sides (shown you below).
I added this other photo to show you what it should NOT look like.
Step #5 Secure your two halves with wire. (You can use string or anything else but I prefer wire because it is so easy to handle)
Plus with wire you can make a loop for holding onto or hanging up your pompom
Just look at the difference!!!! I love it!
As I stared at this slight annoyance I suddenly came up with a solution..... and to my delight, it was a success!! And now I am going to share with you :) hope you like!!
Step #1 Take 8 - 12 sheets of tissue and pile them evenly
Step #2 Starting at one end fold the pile of tissue together in an accordion fashion.
(To do this start with a 3/4 inch fold away from you. Keep your fingers on the fold and flip the pile onto the other side. Then fold towards you. Repeat until you are at the end).
Step #3 Secure the middle of your folded tissue with a twist tie. Then cut the ends so they are rounded. This will give a nice finished look.
Step #4 Gently separate each tissue sheet from the others. (Hint: It helps to pull at the tissue closer to the middle. For some reason the tissue is stronger there and is less likely to rip.)
(Another hint: separate the tissue as close to the middle as you can. This will help our pompom to be full looking!)
If you have 10 sheets then separate 5 sheets on both sides of the twist tie. Then flip over and separate the remaining 5 on the bottom half.
Ok, now this is where my tutorial differs from so many others out there. Repeat steps #1 through #4 so that you have two identical half made pompoms. Lay them out (like shown above) and then join the two flat sides (shown you below).
I added this other photo to show you what it should NOT look like.
Step #5 Secure your two halves with wire. (You can use string or anything else but I prefer wire because it is so easy to handle)
Plus with wire you can make a loop for holding onto or hanging up your pompom
Just look at the difference!!!! I love it!
A lesson in true beauty
We all know the saying "Beauty is only skin deep", or my husbands personal favorite, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". He told me this often during my I'm-so-fat-and-pregnant days. I usually rolled my eyes at him and told him to stop being cheesy but I'm beginning to think this is a rather good motto to live by.
Just last weekend we were invited to our dear friends Stephanie and Darren's wedding. Oh you know how it goes, you get all dolled up and you feel good and confidant and ready to have a good time with friends. As I took one last glance in the mirror I noticed the small red mark on my face that was a result of a mole my dermatologist removed a few days prior. Normally I would use some consealer to cover up my imperfections but in this case I would rather not put make up on this small crater in my face for fear that it might get infected. I reminded myself that at least I have my health and it could be a lot worse.
Just yesterday I got a call from the dermatologist. Turns out the spot on my cheek had strange cells in it. They are calling it Atypical Intraepidermal Melanocytic Proliferation. To explain better, if you think of melanoma as being on one end of a spectrum and a normal mole as being on the other end of that same spectrum, this mole I had removed would be placed somewhere in between. It has some unusual or atypical features within the melanocytes, which are the cells from which melanoma develops. So rather to be safe than sorry they are sending me to a specialist to have a bigger area of skin removed. This will then be tested and if the lab result say there are no more of these "strange cells" then I am in the clear. If there are, then I really don't know what the next step will be.
So, when I go in for this second procedure I will come out with stitches and swelling that will last for a week. I don't think make up is going to do the trick.
Every Thursday I enjoy a fun Zumba class instructed by my good friend Kelsey Mast. (Stick with me here, this does tie together.) At the end of class she offers some small pieces of paper with encouragement's and verses on them (kind of like fortune cookies) and you pick them randomly from a little basket. As I was cleaning off my dresser I came across the last note I got. It reads "There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections" .... WOW! I don't think its coincidence that I came across this today or that I saved it. I think God is trying to teach me something ~ that beauty IS skin deep and that I can be confidant because of who He made me to be on the inside and not what I look like on the out side. I am writing this now in hopes that in a week or two I will be inspired even though my face may look.... ummm..... different :)
Just last weekend we were invited to our dear friends Stephanie and Darren's wedding. Oh you know how it goes, you get all dolled up and you feel good and confidant and ready to have a good time with friends. As I took one last glance in the mirror I noticed the small red mark on my face that was a result of a mole my dermatologist removed a few days prior. Normally I would use some consealer to cover up my imperfections but in this case I would rather not put make up on this small crater in my face for fear that it might get infected. I reminded myself that at least I have my health and it could be a lot worse.
Just yesterday I got a call from the dermatologist. Turns out the spot on my cheek had strange cells in it. They are calling it Atypical Intraepidermal Melanocytic Proliferation. To explain better, if you think of melanoma as being on one end of a spectrum and a normal mole as being on the other end of that same spectrum, this mole I had removed would be placed somewhere in between. It has some unusual or atypical features within the melanocytes, which are the cells from which melanoma develops. So rather to be safe than sorry they are sending me to a specialist to have a bigger area of skin removed. This will then be tested and if the lab result say there are no more of these "strange cells" then I am in the clear. If there are, then I really don't know what the next step will be.
So, when I go in for this second procedure I will come out with stitches and swelling that will last for a week. I don't think make up is going to do the trick.
Every Thursday I enjoy a fun Zumba class instructed by my good friend Kelsey Mast. (Stick with me here, this does tie together.) At the end of class she offers some small pieces of paper with encouragement's and verses on them (kind of like fortune cookies) and you pick them randomly from a little basket. As I was cleaning off my dresser I came across the last note I got. It reads "There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections" .... WOW! I don't think its coincidence that I came across this today or that I saved it. I think God is trying to teach me something ~ that beauty IS skin deep and that I can be confidant because of who He made me to be on the inside and not what I look like on the out side. I am writing this now in hopes that in a week or two I will be inspired even though my face may look.... ummm..... different :)
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