I have been wanting to write this blog for a while now but with my busy life and a recent trip to Canada, time just did not permit. About four weeks ago my son Kaden had a terrible cough and heavy breathing. What I thought would be a quick drop-in at the doctors turned into an ambulance ride to the ER. It just so happened that my husband was on a deep sea fishing trip with his co-workers. The poor young lady I had watching my kids had to drop her plans and stay with them longer, plus learn how to feed a newborn (with my instructions over the phone). All I can say is thank God I had two feedings saved up in our freezer. While trying to balance phone calls with the babysitter and my husband I also had to hold my feisty lil boy while Doctors and paramedics gave him nebulizer treatments.
Since my phone connection was not so great in the hospital my husband tried to organize some help for me. Well, finally by around 3 in the afternoon I was able to go home and my wonderful sister-in-law got me back to my car.
After getting all the kids tucked into bed that evening, I settled in for a night of worry and constant checking on my sons breathing. Around 5:00am I was up with my newborn who decided it was a good time to have projectile vomit. After getting Dax cleaned up and sound asleep I crawled into bed and suddenly, without warning, burst into tears. My uncontrollable sobs woke my sleeping husband and he held me while I proceeded to vent. I felt so alone. I missed my family and I didn't know how to deal with it all. I really believe God placed us here in P.A so I didn't want to run from this place just because it was hard. I prayed and asked God what I needed to do. His answer was not what I was expecting. "Start asking for help". As I thought about this I realized there are two reasons we don't like to ask others for help. First, we are too proud. We want people to think we can do it on our own. Second, and probably most common, we don't want to bother anyone with our troubles.
I shared this with my husband and he said it was time for me to be vulnerable and share my feelings with my friends and family who live here. I proceeded to spend the day calling my friends and family and realized that they want to help and me being vulnerable with them opened the door for them to feel safe being vulnerable with me. It was very therapeutic.
Often when we are taught a lesson in life, God gives us an opportunity to test this new lesson. Latter in the week my friend Rachel brought us a meal and as she was getting ready to leave she asked if there was anything she could do for me. I was about to revert to my usual self and say, "no, that's fine. But thank you anyway!" when I remembered my lesson. So I swallowed hard and said, "well, the only thing that is bothering me, that I have not had time to get to yet, is my floors". She instantly grabbed my broom and told me how sweeping is her favorite chore to do. While she swept I loaded my dishwasher and we continued to chat about life and kids. I felt so good after she left because my house was tidy again and I believe she felt good helping me. How often do we miss out on this opportunity to be blessed and to bless others?
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| Doing anything I can to entertain my lil man who just wanted to go home :( |
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